Saturday, June 16, 2007

Progress Report

Thank each and every one of you for the kind words of support and encouragement..they have kept me going these last days.
My Mom stayed at the hospital in the orthopedic unit from Mon. night until Fri. afternoon..at that time I had her transported to our local hospital/nursing home which has a rehab floor.
We are back at ground zero in that she is very confused and disoriented. I am sure the fact that she had anesthesia and morphine have not been helpful in this situation. She will begin therapy on Mon. but meanwhile it's all about keeping her comfortable and assured she is going to be able to return to her normal lifestyle..I'm trying to be the lead cheerleader and I have doubts that this will happen..but I am trying to remain positive. She has frequent lapses of not being aware that she has changed hospitals which quickly change to thinking she is home..in addition to some 'out of body sensations'..which I feel are morphine related. Last night was very T.O.U.G.H...I have been going on next to no rest or sleep and not been in a bed since Sunday night..and then Mom looks at me and said..'why did you put me in the crazy house?' I am not crazy...well, this broke my heart...I nearly picked her up and carried her home and made the attempt to care for her...which when I think sanely..I know this is impossible..but we did have a very good cry with me assuring her that she was not crazy...she was not in a crazy house..and that we were going home..In her state of mind it was very difficult to try to convince her that everyone on this floor has some sort of injury requiring therapy...and I'm afraid I was not successful, because again this morning..she asked if she could go home today. I was able to leave today and come home..and lay in my bed while a cousin sat with her...sadly I could not sleep for worry..I think I may have slept an hour and I was up on the phone checking on her..It was so hard to leave her because I felt so guilty when I looked at her and explained how every tired I was and I was going home to rest for a bit...she welled up and cried. I can only imagine the thoughts going through her mind that I was bailing out on her..
It will be a very long road to recovery even if it goes perfect. The surgeon said 2-3 months and that is IF she doesn't have to have additional surgery and have a plate put in..which all depends on how well the soft tissue heals.
The highlight today was that my Mother in Law..who bless her soul is a good woman..but she tends to have this 'know it all' attitude'..informed me that I was going to have to get my mother off of this pain medication...I merely lifted the sheet and said LOOK...do you think you would not need pain meds if your leg looked like this..I won this battle as I saw her knees get weak and she turned her head..Yes God..thank you...Dianne 1...Joyce 0.
Please continue to keep my Mom in your thoughts..she's a very important part of my knitting world and she hears me speak of my knitting friends...so she will feel your warm vibes.
When this is over and Mom is home..I will take time to pencil in a nervous breakdown..until then..MS.K...could I borrow one of your uniforms?..
Happy Knitting to all...

8 comments:

Nikki said...

OH Dianne... I'm glad you got your Mom home but sorry to hear she's having trouble with her awareness. I know she can't be off the pain medicine, but it certainly couldn't hurt to talk to her doctor about your worries of her mental issues. Maybe there's a pain medicine that will help her leg but not leave her in such mental fog. It certainly doesn't hurt to ask... My thoughts and prayers are still with y'all. Big hugs...

Marianne said...

Dianne, I just now emailed you, just a quickie then saw that you'd posted....at least you're both in Bedford and home isn't terribly far away, you are such a trooper! Like I said, you are a GOOD DAUGHTER! I can only imagine how hard it must be for you to leave for a little while and your Mom thinking her thoughts...just bear in mind she probably won't remember most of this later, and I know you're doing your best to assure her that you will in fact be back...I'd be there in a heartbeat to help out...keeping you and your mom ever so close in my heart and thoughts.
I hope you get some good quality rest soon.

Anonymous said...

Dianne, I just don't know what to say. Know that I am sending good thoughts your way for you and your mom. Please take care of yourself and try to get some sleep; you won't do your mom any good if you get sick yourself.

Michelle said...

BIG HUGS!!! I'm glad to hear she's out of the hospital, and wish her all the best with rehab. I will keep my fingers crossed that all goes well. i know it's tough right now.... but I think it will all go better once the pain meds can be at least cut back... until then, hang in there! and let me know if i can do anything for you...i'm only a few hours away! and remember to take care of yourself "girlfriend"!!

Dana said...

Dianne, Morphine can do very strange things to one's mind. After a back surgery, I was speaking to my father in French (which he doesn't speak) and I was thinking the words in English. Likewise, I was very emotional and had an upset stomach the whole time. Perhaps once your mom's pain has lessened, she could be downgraded to a good old codeine-based medication. In the meantime, YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS and your mother (once she's not overwhelmed by circumstances and powerful, mind-altering meds)will understand what has happened and where she is.
If there's anything, anything at all I can do to help, please tell me. LOVE YOU!

Jan said...

Lots of hugs and care coming your way. Please try to get some sleep! Your mind will get just as foggy on sleep deprivation as it could on drugs. Try to trust that others can care for your mom (almost) as well as you can.
Your mom is really blessed to have a daughter like you!

Anonymous said...

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cate said...

I will be praying for your mom and you. I have an aunt who got sprung from the hospital to the rehab at a nursing home after a close brush with death. I watched her daughters exhaust themselves caring for her personal needs when she was in the hospital. Hang in there. I loved watching them love their mother. You are a WONDERFUL daughter. catie